Prolonged Momentary Hitch Breathed Dilemma

   Trust and expectations travel in the same boat, with them comes hope and disappointment quietly follows. But we choose to fall in the boat nonetheless. We choose to love and to trust because we cannot do without it. And in that vicious loop people fall in the blame game, but really, if there's anyone to blame it's ourselves, and our instincts. Those uncontrollable flames of emotions licking our flesh. We fail to accept things that were bound to happen and cringe internally. Crib and complain. And whine some more. But we will never learn to contain those floods of emotions within our gates. But one day we get tired; tired of these continuous loops leading us no where. 

   She was tired too; and cold. Numb and stuck; she didn't wanna go on anymore, but she had to. Neither could she go on internally, standing at a divide in the road. She knew everything will eventually lead her to the ubiquitous, ineradicable pain with tiny little packages of happiness on her way. Stranded right on the fork, reluctant to decide, she waits to watch life go by for everyone. To let time tell it's tale. And it does without the slightest trace of her absence.

   Stranded at a place she's falling, the scenery around her never changing. Looping where shards of glass crack and start to fall to the ground but never really find any closure. In that prolonged momentary hitch breathed dilemma, she never knows if she will ever hit the ground reality. That ephemeral blindness of lights out is starting to seem perennial. Clutching at her heart, pleading it to shift to a slower pace, her pulse has settled on a permanent high. She's stripped of  conscious thoughts. Fleeting memories of him bring her out of this reverie. Brief encounters if his voice or face would cure her out a little.

    This forces her to believe he is what she's seeking. But she isn't. He's started to matter a lot more than the one who is supposed to. Because he is the only shore she sees everytime she manages to bob her head out of the strong current of the water's surface. Someone's holding her hand underwater, her feet are anchored by shackles somewhere deep down on the sea bed. She's fighting for breath and struggling to live, hence all other thoughts cease to matter.

                                              - ThatGirl.Again