It's not when you miss a person terribly or not when you want to spend all your time with them. It's not at all when you are ready to do anything for them and not when they're continuously on your mind. And the concept of not being able to live without a specific person, is a complete fail. It's not even when you think you are compromising when you do things for them and also not when doing things for them seems like trouble or a formality in order for them to not get hurt.
She is a wild sea at storm now. With raging waves of emotions. She was once a smooth flowing river, calm and sorted. Not anymore. She is continuously being beaten down by the rocks at bay. All the waves are breaking down and rebuilding. She can't quite figure out one from another. She can't feel the catastrophe around her. Because she has gone numb. Numb from feeling too much of everything. She has heard promises; she has been shown dreams of forever after. She has melted in words and shared smiles to the ninth cloud. These silver linings have made her fall that much harder. Often; It's this delusion that we mistakenly call love; we pay no attention to the gist of the words that the lover says while we are too intoxicated in ecstasy by the way they're said.
But even in ecstasy, she rarely slipped with the words. And it's the words that she remembered the best. They meant too much to her and she dwelved too deep in them. Those four simple words from an year ago, "Will you be mine?" keep replaying in her head. Those impulsive sweet talks and spur of the moment promises came to mean more than they were meant to. And the sweeter the words of the past, the harsher they cut her in the present.
The words; the words have left a hole in her heart. His face; everytime it appears; scrapes the edgy facets of the hole in her heart. Tears are shed and so is blood. She can't feel it though; numb as she is. So numb. She knows it's not love. Definitely not it. Not the words; nor the feelings or the substance of the promises.
She is a wild sea at storm now. With raging waves of emotions. She was once a smooth flowing river, calm and sorted. Not anymore. She is continuously being beaten down by the rocks at bay. All the waves are breaking down and rebuilding. She can't quite figure out one from another. She can't feel the catastrophe around her. Because she has gone numb. Numb from feeling too much of everything. She has heard promises; she has been shown dreams of forever after. She has melted in words and shared smiles to the ninth cloud. These silver linings have made her fall that much harder. Often; It's this delusion that we mistakenly call love; we pay no attention to the gist of the words that the lover says while we are too intoxicated in ecstasy by the way they're said.
But even in ecstasy, she rarely slipped with the words. And it's the words that she remembered the best. They meant too much to her and she dwelved too deep in them. Those four simple words from an year ago, "Will you be mine?" keep replaying in her head. Those impulsive sweet talks and spur of the moment promises came to mean more than they were meant to. And the sweeter the words of the past, the harsher they cut her in the present.
The words; the words have left a hole in her heart. His face; everytime it appears; scrapes the edgy facets of the hole in her heart. Tears are shed and so is blood. She can't feel it though; numb as she is. So numb. She knows it's not love. Definitely not it. Not the words; nor the feelings or the substance of the promises.
-ThatGirl.Again
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