Once everything was scattered in front of her and all the pieces lay on the floor beneath her, she went in pieces with them too. And for hours altogether, all the pieces stayed there, grieving. But life has to go on, and there's always show time. For her, every morning is show time. So she gathered herself up, and while she was doing that, she came to realize that the other pieces just didn't make sense anymore. The edgy, painful shards were just really random memories that still hurt as much, but somehow ceased to matter. All they did was pierce her soul, again and again. She began trying to put the pieces back together. But she ended up hurting herself. Such were the fragments. Randomly scattered. Which didn't make sense.
She had begun to realize that she was aboard a ship which was sure to sink. She had drowned down her ego, friends, work, family, commitments all unknowingly, only idolizing him. Trying to keep him aboard. But the ship was still sinking and she knew nothing can save the ship anymore. And she knew there were lifeboats. The ones she was choosing to ignore all this while. And she knew it was time to act before it was too late. The book had to move ahead. The page had to be turned. And everything in the past was just a lesson. Going back in the past was allowed only for reference. And she knew all this.
But she kept on questioning herself, 'What about those promises?' 'What happened to forever ever after?' 'What if he still loves me?' 'What if he decides to come back?' But she knew all the answers in the hearts of her heart. Promises are made only when both people involved are unsure of the setting. There is no forever ever after. Ever. He never loved her. He was never there in the first place to ever leave, or come back for that matter.
Her eyes were finally taking in the mess that her life had become. And she knew it was time to do some cleaning. She had seen people walk off out of their mess, leaving the other people involved in that deep shit. They would casually locate to new territories. But to her, Cleaning up made so much sense. It washes off the grime and crime, off your hands. And what needed the most cleaning was her conscience. She needed to get over her guilt trip. The guilt she felt towards herself, mostly. So she spilled it all out. Her escape. Her Wonderland. The Vivid Memories. She had to leave her eternal escape behind. Get out of the vicious whir and blur. Because all of it didn't matter or make sense anymore.She knew she had to start rolling the film again. And of all the things she had to do, She knew getting herself a new film roll was the most crucial.
She had begun to realize that she was aboard a ship which was sure to sink. She had drowned down her ego, friends, work, family, commitments all unknowingly, only idolizing him. Trying to keep him aboard. But the ship was still sinking and she knew nothing can save the ship anymore. And she knew there were lifeboats. The ones she was choosing to ignore all this while. And she knew it was time to act before it was too late. The book had to move ahead. The page had to be turned. And everything in the past was just a lesson. Going back in the past was allowed only for reference. And she knew all this.
But she kept on questioning herself, 'What about those promises?' 'What happened to forever ever after?' 'What if he still loves me?' 'What if he decides to come back?' But she knew all the answers in the hearts of her heart. Promises are made only when both people involved are unsure of the setting. There is no forever ever after. Ever. He never loved her. He was never there in the first place to ever leave, or come back for that matter.
Her eyes were finally taking in the mess that her life had become. And she knew it was time to do some cleaning. She had seen people walk off out of their mess, leaving the other people involved in that deep shit. They would casually locate to new territories. But to her, Cleaning up made so much sense. It washes off the grime and crime, off your hands. And what needed the most cleaning was her conscience. She needed to get over her guilt trip. The guilt she felt towards herself, mostly. So she spilled it all out. Her escape. Her Wonderland. The Vivid Memories. She had to leave her eternal escape behind. Get out of the vicious whir and blur. Because all of it didn't matter or make sense anymore.She knew she had to start rolling the film again. And of all the things she had to do, She knew getting herself a new film roll was the most crucial.
- ThatGirl.Again
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